Peeve Zoo

What is it with tattoos these days?

I first noticed this when I was about 28. . .  every girl younger then me had a tattoo (and more and more of the odd-ball ones older then me were getting them).   

In the beginning, you rarely saw them, they were most often hidden -- in places I don't regularly show my Doc unless provoked.  Now, of course, they are popping out of backs of pants and peeking up over low decolletage.  Why bother getting one unless everyone can see it?? 

I trace it back to all those kids who had those fake rub-on tattoos that washed off.   I wasn't particularly fond of those as a kid, but at least they washed off! 

Growing up, I thought tattoos were for sailors, truck drivers, and motorcycle gangs.  The "Tattooed Lady" was still a thing for carnival sideshows.  Dating myself?  So be it.  Over the years  I came to a place where I was O.K. with a guy having a few tattoos . . .  taken on a case-by-case basis (it really helped if I knew that they were ex-military or something like that).   But, I still find an un-inked guy a gem. 

Youth rarely thinks of anything as being permanent, particularly in this culture.  We throw away everything from paper plates to disposable cameras.   No decision is ever final.   Now, with laser resurfacing, tattoos don't seem like the irreversible decision that they used to be.   But surprise surprise people!  #1: it's really expensive to do and #2: it's kinda like using those old erasable pens. . .  doesn't always work real well . . .  & it leaves a smudge! 

The natural tendency for young people to define themselves using objects has now been taken to extreme lengths (or eXtreme!!! as the case is always today).  In the 70s, the right pair of flares, a cool lunchbox, & a Farrah or Dorothy Hamill haircut could define a gal.  In the 80s, it meant buying designer jeans, shirts and purses, and making sure that everyone knew the label.   But labels can be faked, and often were.   

So, in today's economy, where "designer" items have fallen out of fashion/i.e. price range of today's youth - how's a kid to stand out from the crowd while fitting in with it?  Many who can't afford designer wear (and many who can!) now spend their money on expensively designed tattoos.  No better way to define oneself then by writing the label right on your body!

If you asked most young people -- "OK, I can give you a really cool haircut and style but you will be stuck with it for the rest of your life"  -- do you think they'd take it?    Perhaps.  But they should look through their parent's yearbooks and ask themselves how much they really want to be frozen in time.  

I have a hard enough time picking out wallpaper.

Anyway,  they should be so lucky to have that look "frozen".  Ever see an old-old tatttoo?  Time marches on -- and your skin is going to show it.  I personally find amusement in thinking of what reunions of these kids are going to look like in 30 + years.   You do not want to be working in the old-folks home some 50-60 years from now . . .  ugh!!! 

I do imagine that by that time, you won't find many inked youth.  Who wants to look like their old fart parents??  These parents will be stuck with the "velvet Elvis" class of art emblazoned across their bodies.  Face lifts will become passé -- people will want to do whole body lifts.    Remember - gravity is not a suggestion, it's the law. 

It's sad that there are no ophthalmic studies in the works to improve foresight. 

Ok, I suppose you might ask -- how can you make a "peeve" out of somebody's hair?

To that I say:  Have you seen this hair??? 

I could have just said "Justin Bieber" and been done with it, but when you get right down to it -- it's the hair that drives me nuts.   I mean, REALLY??!!??  

Guys just shouldn't look like they spend too much time on their hair.  Ok, it may be politically incorrect of me to say this but - it's gay!  Effeminate.  Girly. 

How much time does this kid spend under a hair dryer?? 

Now, I get that many guys do actually spend a lot of time on their hair -- and most do it in such a manner as to make it look like they don't actually spend that much time in front of a mirror.  Even so, most of these guys don't look like their mom probably laid out their clothes for them that morning. 

I guess the fact that I never swooned over any teen-heart throbs when I was a teenybopper means I should just take myself out of the equation here.  I don't get it. OK.   But -- come on!   Wait till they get a little testosterone in them please! Throw that tadpole back and let him grow some legs . . . . and cut that hair!

Another problem I have is with the basic hairstyle -- lets just hope this doesn't catch on.  For Chr!$#-sake, it's a comb-over!  Just wait - there will soon be 40-60 year old men with hair combed over their bald foreheads Bieber Style.   

I am not looking forward to getting hit on by a 50something Bieberwannabe.  When I look at a guy and think blow-job, I don't want to be thinking about hairdryers. 

Boys should look like boys -- not like something his sister experimented with at her last slumber party.

When I go to a drive through, I expect NOT to be confronted with PEOPLE.  Minimum Contact is what I want! 

Yeah, yeah!  I know  . . .   we all complain about the bad communication, yelling at the speakers, getting the wrong order, yadda, yadda.    Well, I've grown up with that.  I'm used to it.  It's what I want. 

Yet, an interesting turn of events has been occurring at many MickyD's; particularly at rush hours.  

There they are, with their clipboard calc/machines and earphone headsets - standing there wayyyy before the menu.  Yeah, I've been there before, sure I'm probably going to order the same thing again, but what if I wanted to check out something new???    So, I'm stuck.  I roll down my window . . . order the same-old-same-old.  

Whatever. 

And I miss yelling.  It was therapeutic. 

"NO, I SAID NO CHEESE!  YES,  MAKE IT A HAMBURGER, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE IT IN A COMBO, ONLY AS A CHEESEBURGER COMBO, BUT PLEASE NO CHEESE!!"

Now where do I go to yell??

A bumper sticker I'll always remember:

"IZ YOU LONESOME OR IZ YOU BLIND?
WHY IZ YOU SO CLOSE TO MY BEHIND?"

Most tailgating doesn't bother me. Actually, I guess it really doesn't happen all that often.  However, few things annoy me more then a truck riding my A$$ down a two lane road because they feel that not only am I not going fast enough for them, but they have the advantage of height, weight, and glaring chrome to breath down my neck.   

This does not amuse, nor does it move me.   I don't care if you're in an F150, my lil' Honda has every right to drive the speed limit (normally a wee bit above).  Go ahead, rev your engine and waste some more gas! 

I also like this bumper sticker:

"I BREAK FOR TAILGATERS"

Although breaking is not my usual go-to move, I find the idea amusing, and often find myself slowing down the closer a car gets to me -- particularly if in heavy traffic and I know the moron has no other option but to stay behind me. 

Of course, I accelerate if necessary. . . . . . Like if they try to pass.

Carma Chameleon

OK, this one goes back to even when I was a little kid. 

I've spent the day out and about and have been forced to use several different public restrooms, and so have confronted this problem throughout the day.    Here's how this works out.

#1.  I like keeping my hands clean.

#2.  I wash my hands after using the restroom.

#3.  I am then confronted with a door that must be PULLED open. 

Why is this???  OK, sometimes I can grab a paper towel and open the door with that -- but in two restrooms today that was not an option!!  (blow-dry hand dryers)  This seems like a very obvious hygiene issue -- at least one to this one-time 5-year-old girl.    I admit it -- I'm a bit "Monkish" but hasn't the CDC been on us lately about washing hands -- and we know door handles are . . . ughhhhhh . . . .  ewwwww. . .  because not everyone pays attention to point  #2. 

Anyway;

A. In the event of fire, aren't doors supposed to open out?

B.  Haven't they perfected the swinging door? 

C.  Couldn't the doors just swing IN not OUT -- I've seen it done!! 

"Wipe, please"
~  Adrian Monk

Re: If you can't afford a 20% tip, don't go out to eat. Period

When did it become OK for servers to tell us how much we are to tip them?? When did the standard 15% (which, I think is quite good) become 20%???!?!?

Sometime around the same time when servers became table servers and stopped being waiters and waitresses. Around the same time they started introducing themselves to us like we were going to be on their Christmas card list and sometime around the same time service with a smile became service with a snarl.

Sorry. I tip for SERVICE. If it's good, you get a good tip. If it's really good, you get a really good tip. If your service sucked, suck it up and take your dime home and be happy that I didn't complain to management about you. Yeah, you THINK you did a great job -- bet you hung up that participation ribbon for pee-wee tee-ball and thought you won a prize too.

Just showing up and bringing the food to the table doesn't mean you get a star on your forehead. This is the real world. Sorry being a "food service worker" ain't all you dreamed it would be. Deal with it. Some of the people you are serving may be out of work, may have little money but if they WANT TO GO OUT TO SPEND IT ON JUST FOOD AND NOT YOUR SORRY ATTITUDE IT IS THEIR RIGHT. If they didn't -- you wouldn't have a job, you numb-skull.